Heard this past Friday at Minato Elementary School, at the tail end of my self introduction to the fourth grade class:
Carter: .... well, that's all I have to say for now. Any questions, kids?
4th graders: Do you have a wife?
C: (Smiles) nope. Not married.
4th graders: What about a special someone that you like?
C: Well, that's a secret....
4th Grader: What type of girls do you like?!
C: Uhhhh.... I like... girls who are kind people.
4th Grader: That it? Even if she's ugly?
4th Grader: What if she's REALLY UGLY?!?!
Precocious Nine-year-old: What about [co-teacher] Sakamoto-sensei? She's pretty!
(Sakamoto-sensei smiles embarrassedly)
C: Well, she's a very nice lady... Any other questions?
(five minutes later)
PN: (Whispers conspiratorially) Carter-sensei! Do you like Sakamoto-sensei?
C: (Smiles) She's very nice.
PN: And pretty!
C: Yes, and pretty too.
(PN scurries to Sakamoto-sensei, exchanges whispers, scurries back to C)
PN: The feeling's mutual!
C: (Smiles embarrassedly)
PN: (Bows deeply) Congratulations on your marriage! Yay!!!!!
Chorus of Fourth Graders: Yay!!!! Congratulations!!!! (applause)
(Sakamoto-sensei (who has a long-term boyfriend) blushes, C attempts in vain to distract kids with flashcards....)